Airports are the worst

Since 2001 airports have been a major pain in the ass. Really, there's nothing worse than standing in line with a family who has a stroller, a business man who's a loud talker, and a teenage girl wearing Juicy sweatpants and her hair in a sick ponytail as she's smacking her gum. I mean, this is major pet peeve time coming out in full force. I will say the conversations one overhears at the airport are priceless. People are surprisingly shameless about their existence when they're at the airport. It's almost as if they've realized what they've signed on for:

1. Possible death by crash, so free for all conversations are a dime-a-dozen
2. Inappropriate talk brought on by hunger, i.e. Hunger Talk, because they refuse to buy $5 candy bars, and air carriers no longer serve anything of substance. (Thanks a lot all you weak kids with peanut allergies!)

Seriously though, I listened to a 30 minute conversation between two women, one of which is too lazy to use the Wii she bought herself. I got an up close and personal spattering of conversation about the pains of child labor from a woman with elaborate tattoos on the backs of her calves (weird spot, right?). I've overheard people go into severely in depth details with people they've just met as to where they are going on vacation, how long they will be there and what they're planning on doing.

Airports are bizarre. They bring out the worst and best in people. I use the word "best" loosely. I really only mean those kind souls who give up their seat on an overbooked flight so a split up family can all be on the same plane together. Nevermind the fact that those passengers get a free voucher for another flight next time they need to fly. To all those giving a standing ovation, please sit down. What airports are good for is seeing a quick glimpse of how small the world really is. I love when I run into people I know at the airport. Makes me feel less alone, not that I feel terribly alone, but you can when you travel. I can't imagine even being in the sort of business where flying all the time is a necessary function of the job, and I love to travel.

What really irks me about airports is those few moments where I'm barefoot. I have been known to skip around shoeless on a nice day, but what I don't enjoy doing is taking off my sweaty moccasins in the same spot that millions of other dirty mongrels have taken off their footwear. I mean, warts! Gross! The sanitation issues! It's icky. And that, kids, is why airports are the worst.

Don't even get me started on the delays or those times when you get a free ride, with the only stipulation being that the only available flights are at 4:00 AM on Tuesdays.