All Irish Sayings & Quotes Are True

I don't think anyone can even question any of this. Clearly, these are all 100 percent true:

"If you’re enough lucky to be Irish, you’re lucky enough!"

"There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were."

"Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord — and it makes you miss him."

As probably everyone knows, Chicago's South Side Irish Parade for St. Patrick's Day was canceled this year due to past years of belligerence. I'm attesting that those belligerent people could not have been of Irish descent, because "An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth." Agreed? Agreed.

Happy St. Patrick's Day [weekend]! Check back on the 17th for some more Irish love.