A Clean House is a Happy House

I had a day off work last week. I cleaned a toilet. I tidied my bedroom. I dusted. A lot.

And, it is immaculate.

Indeed, a dirty house is not just unhappy, it's unenjoyable.

"It is the beautiful bird which gets caged."

Here’s my once in a blue moon gander into the political spectrum.

I read recently that China is peeved at the Nobel Peace Prize Committee for awarding a Chinese dissident with this year’s coveted award. (And a few other nations seem to be up in arms as well, among those who are not attending include Russia, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Pakistan, and Iraq.)

Artist and human rights advocate Liu Xiaobo will be honored this year, causing a chain reaction of RSVP declines from Russia to Iraq and Iran, as he is now serving an 11-year sentence for what China calls “inciting subversion of state power.”

Though some countries have said they’re response to not attend doesn’t necessarily have to do with the honoree, there’s enough speculation to wonder. According to CNN.com, “Despite the Nobel committee's announcement that Iraq will not show up at the ceremony, an [Iraqi] official said that might not be true.”

But, let’s face it, Iraq isn’t exactly known for its honesty. Is any country? However, the UN committee announced Iraq was not to join in on the festivities – so, if anything, I’d tend to believe them over anyone else. What have they got to lose? Nothing that's worth keeping.

For more information on Liu Xiaobo go to any and all of these links:
CNN piece on Xiaobo
NYT piece on Xiaobo
Xiaobo's Charter 08: a Manifesto
Nobel Peace Prize 2010 Official Press Release

"Home is where the heart is — "

— unless your whole family ditches you at important holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas.

At that point there might still be a heart, it's just cold and lifeless.

"Children act exactly like little drunk people."

I saw this as a friend's Facebook status one day, and the reality of this thought struck me like an abusive boyfriend.

That's all that can be said to justify this observation.

The Landlord from Will Ferrell

"Those who can't 'do,' teach."

Lies. Lies and the lying liars that proliferate these lies have got to hit the road.

This might be true when it comes to gym teachers who didn't make it onto American Gladiators, but for everything else, it's just malarkey. I often have found that the best performers (regardless of their crafts) make the best teachers. Honestly, I wouldn't and don't trust a teacher who hasn't ever gone out for the big leagues, either metaphorically or literally speaking. And while I'm seeking out definites, I know for sure that a lot of people who can "do," can't teach. Whichever way the wind blows, teaching, in it's complete glory, is a form of doing.

"[I/You] never kiss and tell."

You ever heard of marriage?

Well. I have. And, let me tell you a little something about it  — it's the ultimate when it comes to kissing and telling. Many of my dearest friends have taken the trip down that two-person lane, and every time it happens I get a little happier about the world. It's pretty neat, no? Just the mere idea that commitment can run that deeply. Now, don't jump the gun here, son, but kissing and telling is kind of nice when it's right. So, now that I'm welcoming another union into my life as I watch a close friend of mine plan her upcoming path, I can't help but notice that those who don't kiss and tell are either too early to let on, or too scared to admit.

And, that's alright for a time, but to continue with ultimates, there will be an ultimate time of decision. Indecision simply leads to a stalled engine, and that's no good.

"Time for you and time for me, 

And time yet for a hundred indecisions 

And for a hundred visions and revisions 

Before the taking of a toast and tea."

-T.S. Eliot's, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

Hats of to my good friend Kate and her fiancé Jordan.

The phrase: "I feel like" means the same as "I think."

I'm just as guilty as the next fool, but this does not actually make sense.

You can feel like eating a sandwich. You can feel like crap. But, you can't equate feeling something for thinking something.

Excuse me, but when I put my little feelers out into the world to generate information/lies/untruths/etc., they've brought back this notion of ridiculousness attached to crazy. That ridiculousity lives in the overwrought phrase: "I feel."

You (plural) do not. Stop lying (to yourself and me).

These are things that can be felt. They are not thoughts.

Those Who Bicycle Are Better Drivers Than Those Who Do Not

This almost warrants no explanation. I shall be brief. Bicyclists (and throw in walkers, while we're at it), know their surroundings more so than their four-wheeled friends. You find the ins and outs of a city or town based on taking back roads, finding where things wind up and around, and basically you learn about how terrible drivers can be. That's not to say that bicyclists do not have their faults. I've seen one too many of my bike lane counterparts neglect to use their hand signals, neglect to follow the rules of the road, neglect, neglect, neglect. But, I can safely say that car drivers are animals on the road. They don't pay attention. How else to explain something as minute a detail as looking to see if you're going to DOOR someone on a road that's clearly marked with a bike lane?

Since being on two wheels and slowly getting back to four as winter arrives, I know I'm 100 percent a more conscientious driver than I've ever been — mostly because as scared I am of getting doored on my bike, I'm more scared of doing that to someone.

"No News is Good News"

Speaking from the stance of a Journalism & Mass Communication BA holder, I think it's my social obligation to put the rumors to rest.

This isn't true even if you're a parent who "doesn't wanna know." And here's why:

1. Just because you haven't found out doesn't mean it didn't happen.
2. If you didn't hear anything that's bad or good,that just means your kid isn't doing anything special worthy of note. In essence, you produced a dud.

This is especially untrue in the world of actual news journalism. And here's why:

1. There's always something that needs to be given attention.
2. Just because it wasn't reported, doesn't mean it didn't happen.
3. And, if we're looking at how to take the quote apart, you could say that some news is good news.

This quote assumes that everything is on par if nothing is happening. But isn't that the worst thing you ever heard? If nothing is happening, that means nothing is happening. Nothing good, nothing bad, nothing worthwhile. Nothing. And that's boring. Real. Boring.

"The grass is always greener on the other side."

Either this means life sucks period — or whoever coined it was both perpetually discontent and unable to see that they had it pretty damn good. Bumzies, regardless.

See, lately I've been feeling old, even though I'm really not that old. And, as I continue on living, it's come to mind that I'm actually probably one of the happiest people I know. On the whole, I've got this in the bag. I have my days, as we all do, and while I remain discontent as far as wanting to always be in pursuit!, I'm not unaware of the quality that is happening before my eyes. So, be thankful.

"Time is of the essence."

So. I had to look up what this phrase actually means. I had a general idea, but for clarification's sake (the best kind of sake), here we are:

time is of the essence n. a phrase often used in contracts, which, in effect says: the specified time and dates in this agreement are vital and thus, mandatory, and "we mean it." Therefore, any delay, reasonable or not, slight or not, will be grounds for canceling the agreement.

This, then, is a fact. I used it the other day in regard to how I have no time for hardly anything as I have everything and more on my plate. For your sick pleasure: Friday's consist of hell for me. I wake up at the crack of dawn, pedal nearly 5 miles to work so I can get there early, then leave early so I can hop to my internship at iO. There alone you can see that I have negative time. But, alas, the mayhem continues. After my internship, which ends at 6:30 pm, I have to have preplanned to have my car parked near Wrigley Field the night before, as I need to drive to Second City for the hit sketch show: Eat, PREY, Love, in order to be there at, WHAT!?, 6:30 pm. That's right, folks. More negative time. After the show is the wind down, consisting of gin and sprites at Old Towne Ale House until I don't even know what time. All I do know is I hate that I have to leave my bike at iO, in effect leaving me without my primary mode of transport. More lost time.

What you need to take away is this, time is important. Indeed, quite possibly the most important thing, because at the end of the day, that's all we have. So, it's wholeheartedly, "of the essence."

All this to say, "Don't waste it."

Fortunately for me, I wouldn't have it any other way.

"If you expect to soar with the eagles during the day, you can't hoot with the owls at night."

If vacations attest for anything it's this: You can 100 percent both soar and hoot. I'm all about it.

For the last four days I've made it a point to suck it up, neglect my body's desire for sleep, and soak in the wonder that is hanging with my siblings and friends in Los Angeles. And sure, vacations are great for resting and relaxing, but conversation over libations in new places is a win if ever there was one.

Fitting in as many Kodak moments is key. So, lock it up and throw that bitch away. If you can't throw yourself into the waves and roll with them*, then don't bother with this girl. I'll be over you already.

*1/2 the siblings Marshall totally went surfing at 8:30 am this morning. It was so LA.**

**Catch phrase of the weekend.

***Aside: As for hooting and soaring during real life, I do know from experience that the thought and action of burning the candle at both ends seems daunting, recognize this, you only life once, so rock it like a rocking chair. That's a fact no one can argue with, lest you're Hindi.

All Airlines are the Same

I'm a Southwest girl. There. I've said it. My allegiance lies solely with that blue, gold, and red emblem. There are serious failings on the part of every other airline in the world when compared to the perfection that is SW.

This thought was so deep and profound to me as I boarded flight 123 United yesterday that I stopped in my tracks, pulled out my copy of Atlas Shrugged and wrote:

"MNBT: All airplanes/lines are the same — Fiction. SW is superior. So deep and profound a thought that I wrote it in a book."

That should suffice.

"I'm Blank-ing my head off"

Last I checked there have been very few people who have been decapitated due to any of the following:

• laughing
• dancing
• screwing
• etc.

The closest epithet to reality might possibly be: "Dancing my ass off," depending on how fast and long one is dancing for.

"You wear your heart on your sleeve"

Picture this: Blood rolling down the sides of a hand; it drips down splashing delicately onto the top of a foot; a heart pumps to the beat of a metronome. The cuff of your shirt sleeve is dyed a deep pinot noir. The room is silent, save for the pulsating beat of that metronome and the slow drip-drip-drip crashing to the floor. It's the sort of silence that causes you to hear everything. With each passing moment the risk of infection increases, so you can't wear it out for too long. You might die — so we don't do it. We don't risk our health in hopes of clinging tightly to our humanity. We want to last a bit longer. Don't worry that we might not be living at all. But we all die anyway, so what's the difference? The difference is all in how it happens. Most people don't want to die of a broken heart, dried out, raw from waiting outside too long. We don't wear our hearts on our sleeves because we can't.

"A Leopard Cannot Change Its Spots."

True.

But, wouldn't it be cool to see it try?

I feel that way about most things. Honestly. I can say with certainty that most people don't change their ways regardless of intention; so what could make something as specific and innate as leopard spots possibly give way to stripes? The answer: Nothing.

The best part, however, of a saying such as this, is that desire to see a leopard try to change. What could it possibly do? The answer: Nothing. But the notion that a desire for change, while it can change exactly nothing, is intriguing.

This guy (link) says otherwise, but, hey, what does he know? Probably wears pinstripes. Am I right, or am I right?

Mother Knows Best.

People are just people. As we get older it becomes more evident that no one really knows anything more or less than anyone else based on their familial status. Time might give you a few more goes at understanding, but let's face it, we're all in this together. The sooner we take a step back and realize our parents aren't the end all be all of knowledge, the better off we'll be.

Apologies.

I'm sorry for writing that poem in my last post. That was terrible, and while, it makes me laugh as I reread it, I know it's just No good. Pas bien. No bueno.

DOUBLE FEATURE: "Winners never quit, and quitters never win."

Ready, set, GO!

So the saying goes,
I suppose.
Is a winner not a winner until a loser has lost?
Let's not forget
When you lost that cigarette?
It just goes to show that end alls and be alls are a slippery slope.
And though you will take this as your motivational cue
It's definitely not necessarily true.
Quitters sometimes win, thus winners are often quitters.
And that's just how sayings go.

I am going to stay away from rhyming now for the next 24 years, as I had been for these previous 24.

Write a poem that's better than this one. Please.

Let's look at this honestly though: "Winners never quit." That sounds true enough. But it doesn't actually mean anything. Losers don't quit either. That doesn't make them winners though. It makes them failed "tryers." Now, "Quitters never win." That sounds about right. It's hard to win if you've stopped. But, seriously, let's look deeper, quitting things often can become a great thing, i.e. any sort of out-of-control vice: smoking, drinking, gambling, Cubs watching, that sort of thing.

So, if we're getting down to brass tacks
Let's look at any saying as being mostly 'lax.
If you try something and find that you fail
Take it as your signal to take another trail.
Because there's really, truly nothing worse than wasting time
Ok, sorry, I will stop with this rhyme.

It Takes Two To Tango:

Surely this is true. Of course there are parts when each dancer is left to their own devices as they split for solo moments, but a tango isn't a tango if there is no pair. It's interesting though that there must always be a leader and a follower when it comes to dancing. And — it doesn't change as the dance moves. Both dancers must know their parts for the dance to be a success. If they don't, it's both painfully obvious to the audience and clearly marked as a blip in their dance career.

"Ugly as sin"

If sin could be made to look like one thing, I feel like it would look beautiful, but be ugly. You know, like one of those hot girls at any local high school that's, you know, pretty, but has a terrible heart.

Think Madison Sinclair from Veronica Mars.

"I Can't Live Without [Fill in the Blank]"

Yes, you can.

The only thing you can't live without is a heart — the literal one, not the metaphoric. You can live without appendages, you can live without that CD, you live without that person. And you will, because you have to.

You may not want to.  But let's not confuse wants with needs, and too often that's just what we do. We say, "She's not meeting my needs," or "I neeeeeeed this sweater to function." No, you don't. Perhaps what should be discussed is the idea of living. As in, how do we know we're truly living; breathing deeply; acting upon our desires in the hopes of creating a life worth keeping?

It won't be super fun without it, but there are a lot of deaf people out there.

You will probably be unhealthy, but you can live.

Exactly.

"When you play with fire, you're gonna get burned."

Let's think about this for a second.

Ugh. I hate explaining things that are self-explanatory. If you don't get this, then you need to take a lap. This phrase works in both the literal and metaphoric sense. That's a double whammy.

Dumb.

 The only thing that might make this tough is the time it takes to learn if something's "fire."

Always go with your gut.

Yes, please, let's. If your guts are saying, "Leave," just go. If your guts are saying, "Eat," then do it. If your guts are getting bigger, you should then stop eating. Your guts are a pretty good indicator of physical and mental health. Who knows, they might stop you from being a big, dumb idiot someday.

Side Bar to Life: Growing up, every Halloween my dad, all of my siblings and I would carve pumpkins, and while clearing out their insides (so my mom could cook the seeds), my dad would shout, "GUTS! GUTS EVERYWHERE!" Ah, the memories.

"Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone."

1. Surprise Parties
2. Actual descriptions of pregnant women
3. The memory of junior high

Some things are better left unsaid.

Labor Day Makes Sense

Oh, the irony!

Today marks a free day essentially set aside to give thanks to the land of opportunity for just that. And, general stick in the mud that I am, I feel it my civic duty to note how strange it is to celebrate the fact that we have jobs by not working.

Except for retail places like J.Crew, the Jewel and other places of that sort, those with job-type-jobs get a solid 24 hours sans The Daily Grind. That's nice, right? I suppose, yes, it is.

But it's not really fair, is it? Having a job is nice too, if we're just about stating facts. This year it seems that taking the day off, or any day off for that matter, is a slap in the face to the unemployed. Having been on both sides of the line, my empathy this Monday has been awakened. While millions of people rack their brains and dust off their resumes hoping for the opportunity to clock in and punch out, I think it is sort of rude to have a day congratulating those with jobs.

Alas, "Life isn't fair" — another post for another time.

"Lighter than air."

Hyperbole has me annoyed today. Phrases like this one are what make anorexic people press forward with their non-eating ways. All I can say is, someone give me a cookie. Stat.

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."

This seems rather narrow minded. What's meant is that people should be more aware of how they can lend a hand to those in need. However, who's to say that if you aren't actively fixing something you're causing a problem? I think the only instance where it was actually this case was during WWII. I'm thinking specifically about those who stood idly by as Hitler attempted to eliminate a whole sect of humanity. Scratch that, any sort of genocide falls under this quote.

Yet, there should be something said regarding the "Good Samaritan" Laws which were imposed to protect those who attempt to help should anything go wrong while lending a hand. If you think about it, it's pretty terrible that laws like these had to be put into place in order to protect those who choose to serve others in need. [Learn More: HERE]

Perhaps it's more an issue over what sort of problem there is, over anything else. Even still, it's sad to me that someone who has intentions of helping can find themselves in a sticky mess if anything does go awry as they nix their hesitation to assist.


The long and short: this world's got a lot of issues.

Water doesn't go bad.

Yes it does.

One of my pet peeves (Its name is Michael) is cups of water left around, half drunk, just waiting for those aliens from Signs. Oh, that movie Signs, too, that's a pet peeve. (Its name can be Helen Keller.)

The thing is, water left loafing in a car for more than a day, especially in the sun is quite unhealthy. Water grows mold if left out of doors for a long time. It's just not good to drink old water.

It's icky.

Remember Coyote Ugly? Remember when they yell, "Hello, no, H20!"? Yeah. That's a pet peeve too. (Its name can be Jersey.)

Rompers are Adult Onesies

Seriously. If you can't see this, you must be blind.

I suppose these are a sexier version of the baby onesie.

The Resemblance is Uncanny.

You reap what you sow.

This is quite a karmic way of looking at "Ya got what was comin' to ya." Though it's tough to imagine some Italian mobster actually saying, "You reap what you sow," it is true. Bad things end up happening to bad people, and good to good, and sometimes they get confused, but end up straightening out at some point. Not necessarily with expedience, but in general I'd say this is true, especially if you adhere to the Heaven/Hell Afterlife dynamic.

One thing that bothers me about believing in an afterlife is the concept that Heaven is a reward, something to be worked toward. And while it's not explicitly stated that Heaven's a reward, it's implicit. It's essentially seen as a grown up version of getting a lollypop if you're a good girl and sit still during mass. I don't think this is necessarily what is meant to be taken away from a Christian worldview (or any other religious order for that matter), but it bothers me that it's become this way. The fear of hell shouldn't be what makes you stay within the lines. The joy found in kindness, laughter, friendship, loyalty, honesty, generosity, love, passion, humor, touch, and all things good is what should keep you good. If you really think about it, most everything else ends up savoring of bitterness. Then again, what is good, anyway?

Unrelated Question: The Grim Reaper. We all know him. He essentially "reaps" bad people. So, is he the ultimate bad guy?

Another note: I love the phrase "Sewing wild oats." At the end of my life I'd like to see what's reaped from those.

1. "Money doesn't grow on trees" & 2. "Money is the root of all evil"

Doubling it up, should make for greater rewards, yes? Double or nothing, that's a yes.

1. I wish. Unfortunate fact of the day.

2. I don't agree entirely. I thought it was an apple, no?

Lorne Michaels is to iO what Santa Claus is to the World

They both come around once a year, have a twinkle in their eye and can make all your dreams come true.

"Your eyes are a window to your soul"

Tell that to Oedipus, post complex.

Tell that to a blind person.

Tell that to someone who makes doors.

Tell that to the person who cries on command.

"Any day above ground is a good day." - Robert Gerus

One, have you ever met Job (both the one from The Old Testament and Arrested Development)? I doubt either would agree.

Two, groundhogs disagree.

Three, if you believe in an afterlife, and believe you're going to the good one, doesn't it logically follow that days below ground are probably going to be alright?

Four, and finally, how broken is this world we live in? Pretty broken. So, let's not rub your great life in anyone's face, Mr. Gerus. Not, a Guru.

A "heartbreaker" is worth it

The thing is — you should never listen closely to any of Mariah Carrey's lyrics. But, since I did (i.e. "Heartbreaker"), here's two cents.

Ms. Mimi's tuneage, while good for a nice jog or even blasting during an in house DP throw down, is not one for the realist. What kind of person lets a quote on quote "heartbreaker" get the best of them? I suppose the concept of "best" varies, but truthfully, isn't it just dumb? I don't think anyone is arguing otherwise. What is up for debate is the desire to believe that some people are worth your time, in this case, a heartbreaker. Unfortunately, Mariah hit the nail a little askew, and didn't clarify what a heartbreaker is, and that'd be someone who intentionally leads people on or two times or is just a real jerk.

The late 90s number one hit tosses around way too much trifling verbage, until thankfully Jay-Z makes an appearance. Here's the chorus:

"Heartbreaker, you got the best of me / But I just keep on coming back incessantly / Oh why, did you have to run your game on me / I should have known right from the start / You'd go and break my heart." 

That's right, you should have known.

For reasons unknown this petulant pop beat has been stuck in my head for the last 60 minutes. Enjoy the interesting casting of Jerry O'Connell in the role of Heartbreaker...

Fortune Cookies Give Fortune.

Last Five Fortune Cookie "Fortunes":

1. Don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today.

2. When you can't naturally feel upbeat it can sometimes help you to act as if you did. 

3. You've got what it takes, but it will take everything you've got.

4. Tell them what you really think, or nothing will change.

5. Think of how you can assist a problem, not who you can blame.

None of these give any sort of fortune, not even a little. If anything most of them sound like something the Magic 8 Ball might respond with. The only other idea that could possibly link these little nothing sayings with fortune are the "Lucky Numbers" associated with the quote and Chinese words; and that's only because someone could use the numbers to play the lottery and win. Though, let's face it, everyone loses.

Here's a dumb website: HERE. Waste your time!

Failing Has Value.

“If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.” - Woody Allen

Ah, Woody, intense words from a tense man. I love the fact that a guy like Woody Allen, as successful as he is, would feel that he has failed. It's like that one Thomas Edison quote, "I have not failed. I've just found 1,000 ways that don't work."

Granted, it's a little different when your job is "Inventor," but I suppose all writers are also inventors, as are artists when it comes down to it. Creating anything is a form of invention, and it's encouraging to hear that failing has value.

Variety is the Spice of Life:

I think this is why variety shows have time and time again proven successful. It's the unpredictability that comes with variety that I'm a fan of; it's sort of like when you get a bag of trail mix and every time something different pops out. On a similar note...

Over the last week loads of Chicago comedians and improv gods reached for the stars, auditioning for Lorne Michaels of SNL fame, at the iO Theatre. Fortunately for all of us new comedy sponges, we were invited to watch the various performers both Thursday and Friday evening.

And part of the appeal some performers had over others was the vibrant, fresh takes on what makes people laugh. This show which has rotated cast members and styles for over 30 years, clearly is more than just an indication that, yes, variety is the spice of life.

Note to Readers . . .

Last month's efforts at Might Not Be True-ING it were abysmal.

If you see a little splotch of red in your peripherals, and she doesn't appear to be writing, feel free to break her legs.

XOXO,

Gossip Girl.

"A picture says a thousand words."

Let me see if I can wrap my mind around this concept. That's right — wrap my literal brain around this figurative notion.

I was talking to my artist friends; that's right — artist friends, and we had a similar inkling re: this notion. And we, meaning: me, myself and I, as I have only one "artist friend," aside from myself,that I actually mentioned this brief passing thought to — nonetheless, we came to the conclusion that this is just poppycock. Real, fiddlestickiness, if you will.

Which, you will.

Pictures might make you feel somethin' a'stirrin' inside your soul, but no, they don't actually say any sort of words, no little phrases, no little sweet nothin's purred into your ear. And while many would say, "That's a shame," those are the same people that won't even pick up a goddamn book.

So remember this, friends, I said it, and not some picture.

None of these pictures up top say anything. I googled "A picture says a thousand words," and I got mostly cartoons with captions.

"Love is a dog from hell."

Well, this just can't be true.

There are arguments that seem sound enough  — that "God is Love" or "All things are possible with love." There are other arguments that believe "Love conquers all." And still others that believe "All you need is love."

And while I don't believe this particular quote pairing love with hell and dogs is honestly a truth, it's too often tough to believe all those other quotes about love.

Isn't that sad?

You Can't Take it With You:

"We All Die Alone," performing at...
Gorilla Tango

Enjoy what you have and try to stop obsessing over what you don't have. When you finally bite the dust all you get to take is yourself.

Over the last few months I've had the opportunity to focus my energy on being an 85-year-old woman in "We All Die Alone," a geriatric-sex-comedy featured at The Gorilla Tango Theatre in Chicago's Bucktown neighborhood.

It's been quite the trip to act in a play as an oldie, but a goodie. And, I suppose it's opened even further the notion that you only have so much time to do what you want to do, say what you want to say and act how you want to act — so my feeling is this, knock yourself out. You only get one at-bat.

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

Two sides of the same coin here, I'll say.

I say it only because one day I hope to high heaven I have a job that doesn't feel like work, though it is, and instead of sucking the life out of me, will make me a more interesting, deeper, more intelligent person.

But, alas, right now, all I can say is: "I'll Say!" As you can tell from the infrequency of these posts, I fear my day job has wreaked havoc on my play time! For the next two to fifty years I will be taking suggestions on how to make Jack more interesting. Thanks!

"The squeeky wheel gets the grease."

I wish this was true.

For the last four weeks I have been sweating ballz in my apartment. It's 92 degrees today, and all of my windows are open. There is no respite from this Chicago heat. It's surprising to me that I'm not dead ... especially if you take into account my lack of hydration and overindulgence on Coca Cola products. Thanks, Summer.

The thing is, my landlord is a douche. I suppose I should say landlords or landcompany. Our unit is owned by a building company (who rents to lowly post-grads) and are not yet able to sell the land for a crap ton, before knocking this three flat down and throwing up a mansion. They don't care about me, my roommate or my neighbors. Nope. And, that is why it doesn't matter how squeaky I am; they will not put in our air-conditioner; they will not replace the blinds that look out into our neighbors window, where they can clearly see us roaming around in the nearly nude; or be helpful in any other way.

Squeak as I might, it is for naught.

Your Guess Is As Good As Mine:

I don't mean to brag, but I think this is clearly incorrect.

1. Guessing implies that no one has a clue. But — Question: Is it really a guess if you know the correct answer?

2. If the answer to the former question is still "yes," then obviously my guess has more potential for being more accurate. Let's just look at this for a quick minute. Most of guessing has much to do with logic. That said, it's logical for my guess to be better than yours, considering you could be anyone. It could be that baby in the post before this one. That baby doesn't know anything! Yet.

Point: Proved.

"Babies are such a nice way to start people."

It's about that time — you know, that time when friends are getting married, children are getting born and life is simply moving along at a rapid pace. Since graduating college it seems as if the term "another one bites the dust" has gained even more meaning than just friends getting married. I've been in three weddings since 2008, and now one baby is putting new tallies on the board.

Goodness. That makes me happy. Babies are a perfect way to start people, indeed. They, along with marsupials, most mammals and birds, require the tender care of their parents to keep them alive. It's such an interesting way to begin. Humbly. This innate requirement of neediness. It's interesting how quickly we change as we grow though, gaining the beliefs that we don't need anything or anyone, at least not really. But, just the same, I'm glad we start off needing. It builds healthy people who learn to help themselves as much as each other.

Welcome, Winter Song. June 17, 2010. I'm glad we share a birthday.

"The Show Must Go On"

Even as I write this I know I've failed you. One blog post in a week, that's terrible odds. I'm batting a very low average. Think any Cubs baseball player.

But, alas, the show must go on, and it will. The way I see it is, even if you fall off the band wagon a little or even if there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day, somehow days still go on, the world keeps moving and regardless of you partaking, the show is relentless. It must move forward.

Ah, a lovely metaphor for this sunshine day.

Cares melt when you kneel in the garden.

If you're allergic to pollen I doubt this is true.

Also, what's up with the double entendre of kneeling in the Garden...of Eden? Suddenly some how Madonna's "Like a Virigin" seems to be ringing very loudly. Can you imagine being a terrible gardener and hearing this phrase. I almost want to see the non-green-thumbed flower lover attempting to pot and grow plants, each day seeing that their botany is in vain.

What this really sounds like, though, is a little anecdote from another one of those weird hand-stitched pillows. Lame.

And, enjoy...

Madonna - Like A Virgin @ Yahoo! Video

"All good things come to those who wait."

When I used to be a cynic I would have written something like "No," which I actually had done already when I first began writing this post about six months ago. However, let's look at the cards for a second:

• Cinderella waited for Prince Charming: Success.
• Snow White waited for her prince: Success.
• Ariel waited for Prince Eric: Success.
• Belle waited for the Beast: Success.
• Princess Jasmine waited for Aladdin: Success.

Based on Disney characters and the mentality behind Walt Disney's view of relationships, I'd say good things do come to those who wait.

It's the things that aren't Prince Charming that are the problem though, like money for instance. Most people need more of it. Home buyers looking to purchase have to wait forever before sellers will come down to reality and lower their prices. But eventually, I suppose things do fall into place. It may just take a while. A long while.

"Great minds think alike"

So, I've been thinking about this one for a while. It's a flip-flopper. I feel like a fish. Or like John Kerry and John Edwards in 2004. Whatever works. Mainly I've flipped and flopped because I'd like to think of myself as a smart cookie, and when I find myself with the same joke as another person I admire and respect, this phrase comes to mind. That said...

What's going on in the phrase is the concept of smart people thinking smartly together, in unison, in sync. What's there to pick on in that though, is this idea that perhaps great minds don't think alike because they're on such differing plains. Like, Albert Einstein was clearly brilliant, but so is Alec Baldwin, that doesn't mean they think alike. Doesn't it by virtue of their own separate existences actually mean that great minds are great because they are unique?

They cease to be great if they were all thinking the same way.

And if you're saying it to be funny, which I have, you're merely making the joke that you were thinking in unison, not that you actually had marvelous thoughts.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

It's come to my attention that this line is a load of hullabaloo. How so, you ask? I'll tell you, how so.

It can't be true, not really, otherwise we'd all still be pining for lovers lost or missing best friends who've moved far away. Perhaps abstinence is what "they" meant? I'd assume that's true. You want what you can't have, that's true for certain; but this notion of something being absent and because of its absence you want it, that's a little different. It implies that you once had it, and now it's lost, and you want it again more so than before. Chances are, if you let it slip away for long enough its just gotten lost in the shuffle, as many things do. You will have moved on.

C'est la vie.

It's the only way to continue living, isn't it? Keep pressing forward otherwise you're stuck in the past, and to turn another phrase: past is past.

Que sera sera.