Monday, June 4, 2012

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

Apples, doctors, health?

Please. That's almost as true as the Cosmopolitan magazine theory that eating a yogurt a day keeps yeast infections away. That is to say, it's not true.

Looking back on the reason for this treason, I've considered a few things. The most apt theory implies that apples must not have tasted good when they first became a regular on the kid menu. Such that, mothers everywhere banned together to make up some ridiculous rhyme to get them into bellies.

Rhymes are the first sign that something is askew. Take for example this ditty I just made up: "A mushroom a week will give you a great physique." Maybe if that's the only thing you ate, but mushrooms alone have the potential to make you cracked out of your gourd.

If anything, carry away just this one thing: just because it's a rhyme doesn't mean it's accurate.

Another perfect example: "Hang your clothes up, and I'll get you a pup." Boy, I'm not getting you a dog, even if you hang up my clothes too.

Rhymes are the devils delight. That's a fact.