"Those who can't 'do,' teach."

Lies. Lies and the lying liars that proliferate these lies have got to hit the road.

This might be true when it comes to gym teachers who didn't make it onto American Gladiators, but for everything else, it's just malarkey. I often have found that the best performers (regardless of their crafts) make the best teachers. Honestly, I wouldn't and don't trust a teacher who hasn't ever gone out for the big leagues, either metaphorically or literally speaking. And while I'm seeking out definites, I know for sure that a lot of people who can "do," can't teach. Whichever way the wind blows, teaching, in it's complete glory, is a form of doing.

"[I/You] never kiss and tell."

You ever heard of marriage?

Well. I have. And, let me tell you a little something about it  — it's the ultimate when it comes to kissing and telling. Many of my dearest friends have taken the trip down that two-person lane, and every time it happens I get a little happier about the world. It's pretty neat, no? Just the mere idea that commitment can run that deeply. Now, don't jump the gun here, son, but kissing and telling is kind of nice when it's right. So, now that I'm welcoming another union into my life as I watch a close friend of mine plan her upcoming path, I can't help but notice that those who don't kiss and tell are either too early to let on, or too scared to admit.

And, that's alright for a time, but to continue with ultimates, there will be an ultimate time of decision. Indecision simply leads to a stalled engine, and that's no good.

"Time for you and time for me, 

And time yet for a hundred indecisions 

And for a hundred visions and revisions 

Before the taking of a toast and tea."

-T.S. Eliot's, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

Hats of to my good friend Kate and her fiancé Jordan.

The phrase: "I feel like" means the same as "I think."

I'm just as guilty as the next fool, but this does not actually make sense.

You can feel like eating a sandwich. You can feel like crap. But, you can't equate feeling something for thinking something.

Excuse me, but when I put my little feelers out into the world to generate information/lies/untruths/etc., they've brought back this notion of ridiculousness attached to crazy. That ridiculousity lives in the overwrought phrase: "I feel."

You (plural) do not. Stop lying (to yourself and me).

These are things that can be felt. They are not thoughts.

Those Who Bicycle Are Better Drivers Than Those Who Do Not

This almost warrants no explanation. I shall be brief. Bicyclists (and throw in walkers, while we're at it), know their surroundings more so than their four-wheeled friends. You find the ins and outs of a city or town based on taking back roads, finding where things wind up and around, and basically you learn about how terrible drivers can be. That's not to say that bicyclists do not have their faults. I've seen one too many of my bike lane counterparts neglect to use their hand signals, neglect to follow the rules of the road, neglect, neglect, neglect. But, I can safely say that car drivers are animals on the road. They don't pay attention. How else to explain something as minute a detail as looking to see if you're going to DOOR someone on a road that's clearly marked with a bike lane?

Since being on two wheels and slowly getting back to four as winter arrives, I know I'm 100 percent a more conscientious driver than I've ever been — mostly because as scared I am of getting doored on my bike, I'm more scared of doing that to someone.

"No News is Good News"

Speaking from the stance of a Journalism & Mass Communication BA holder, I think it's my social obligation to put the rumors to rest.

This isn't true even if you're a parent who "doesn't wanna know." And here's why:

1. Just because you haven't found out doesn't mean it didn't happen.
2. If you didn't hear anything that's bad or good,that just means your kid isn't doing anything special worthy of note. In essence, you produced a dud.

This is especially untrue in the world of actual news journalism. And here's why:

1. There's always something that needs to be given attention.
2. Just because it wasn't reported, doesn't mean it didn't happen.
3. And, if we're looking at how to take the quote apart, you could say that some news is good news.

This quote assumes that everything is on par if nothing is happening. But isn't that the worst thing you ever heard? If nothing is happening, that means nothing is happening. Nothing good, nothing bad, nothing worthwhile. Nothing. And that's boring. Real. Boring.

"The grass is always greener on the other side."

Either this means life sucks period — or whoever coined it was both perpetually discontent and unable to see that they had it pretty damn good. Bumzies, regardless.

See, lately I've been feeling old, even though I'm really not that old. And, as I continue on living, it's come to mind that I'm actually probably one of the happiest people I know. On the whole, I've got this in the bag. I have my days, as we all do, and while I remain discontent as far as wanting to always be in pursuit!, I'm not unaware of the quality that is happening before my eyes. So, be thankful.

"Time is of the essence."

So. I had to look up what this phrase actually means. I had a general idea, but for clarification's sake (the best kind of sake), here we are:

time is of the essence n. a phrase often used in contracts, which, in effect says: the specified time and dates in this agreement are vital and thus, mandatory, and "we mean it." Therefore, any delay, reasonable or not, slight or not, will be grounds for canceling the agreement.

This, then, is a fact. I used it the other day in regard to how I have no time for hardly anything as I have everything and more on my plate. For your sick pleasure: Friday's consist of hell for me. I wake up at the crack of dawn, pedal nearly 5 miles to work so I can get there early, then leave early so I can hop to my internship at iO. There alone you can see that I have negative time. But, alas, the mayhem continues. After my internship, which ends at 6:30 pm, I have to have preplanned to have my car parked near Wrigley Field the night before, as I need to drive to Second City for the hit sketch show: Eat, PREY, Love, in order to be there at, WHAT!?, 6:30 pm. That's right, folks. More negative time. After the show is the wind down, consisting of gin and sprites at Old Towne Ale House until I don't even know what time. All I do know is I hate that I have to leave my bike at iO, in effect leaving me without my primary mode of transport. More lost time.

What you need to take away is this, time is important. Indeed, quite possibly the most important thing, because at the end of the day, that's all we have. So, it's wholeheartedly, "of the essence."

All this to say, "Don't waste it."

Fortunately for me, I wouldn't have it any other way.