A poor excuse is better than none at all

No, this is not true. Sometimes you just have to:

1. Shut up
2. Save it
3. Button it
4. Lock it up — & —
5. Accept that your ass is grass

Attesting to this fact are three (overly) drawn out examples.

• Much to my life's chagrin, I stinted for a semester as a high school substitute teacher. Low and behold, it is hard to control a class of 30 students when you resemble a hobbit and other teachers ask you for a hall pass. After a grueling many months of that, it is with full confidence I tell you this, a poor excuse is not at all better than none at all. Excuses are for losers. No one cares why you didn't do your homework, they just want it done.

• If we're talking relationships, no excuse is 100 percent better than saying, "Hey, baby, I didn't call you because I found a better option." No one wants to hear the truth, especially if that's what the truth is. And, sometimes it is...

• Moving on to family: missing what was deemed a family obligation, welp, that's just poor form.

Just say you're sorry and move on.

"No use in flogging a dead horse..."

Sometimes you just need to take out some stress — better to do it to a dead horse than a live one. I think that's the mentality that's been driving the last three seasons of 30 Rock, a show which I most of the time enjoy, aside from the horrifically overplayed-out drama of protagonist Liz Lemon's love life. That is one horse that has been beaten senseless, reduced to glue and then made into Jello. However, the season 4 finale was somehow able to defy the odds by making that plot look unfaded.

It was like a fresh-out-of-the-womb colt.

Enjoy HERE.

"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing"

Dear God,

Knowledge gets a bad rap. Remember, there was that whole deal way back in Genesis, you know the story, you were there. Alright, here's a refresher, in case you forgot. There's a garden called the Garden of Eden and within that garden are two humans, a snake and a tree, but not just any tree, it's the Tree of Knowledge, which you, God, have clearly stated is not to be the victim of any tomfoolery, i.e. stay away from the fruit, Adam and Eve. The snake convinces dumb-dumb (or should I say smart-smart?) Eve to take a bite of the forbidden fruit, thereby bringing sin (slash, knowledge) into the world. As much as I'd like to believe the Garden of Eden was awesome, I have to say I actually am one of those people who believes the good without the bad wouldn't taste as sweet. What are your thoughts, having created this hot mess?

The way I see it is that knowledge is power, and while power can lead to dangerous things, it isn't necessarily one from the get-go. That's something I think you should know, Mr. All Powerful. Absolutes are a difficult breed, but no, a little knowledge isn't a dangerous thing, it's the beginning of understanding, and that should be exciting.

Anyway, we'll tackle my other issues later! Best wishes with knowing everything!

Signed,

L3: Life Long Learner

"If you cut too many corners, you'll be going in circles." - Todd Reaker

Ya think ya such a clever guy, Toddy.

Perhaps a little too wink-wink, nudge-nudge for me, but alas, cleverness didn't kill the cat, curiosity did, and this here quote is quite clever. So. Long Live Cats.

This picture is pretty clever too, a fact I can see, despite another fact that I'm not a "cat person."

"Better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all."

If this isn't true of your past relationships then, man, you must have dated a bunch of douches. Even Alanis Morissette would "recommend gettin' your heart trampled on to anyone. [She] certainly would." That's saying something considering she dated Dave Coulier, aka Joey Gladstone from Full House, of which their relationship inspired the hate song, You Oughta Know (lyrics HERE). It's definitely brutal. For kicks, I included a live recording of the song below.



That being said, this is one saying that warms my heart because it's basically saying that there is worth in relationships, in being open, in finding love, even if it doesn't last. That's a good thing to remember.