I don't mean to brag, but I think this is clearly incorrect.
1. Guessing implies that no one has a clue. But — Question: Is it really a guess if you know the correct answer?
2. If the answer to the former question is still "yes," then obviously my guess has more potential for being more accurate. Let's just look at this for a quick minute. Most of guessing has much to do with logic. That said, it's logical for my guess to be better than yours, considering you could be anyone. It could be that baby in the post before this one. That baby doesn't know anything! Yet.
It's about that time — you know, that time when friends are getting married, children are getting born and life is simply moving along at a rapid pace. Since graduating college it seems as if the term "another one bites the dust" has gained even more meaning than just friends getting married. I've been in three weddings since 2008, and now one baby is putting new tallies on the board.
Goodness. That makes me happy. Babies are a perfect way to start people, indeed. They, along with marsupials, most mammals and birds, require the tender care of their parents to keep them alive. It's such an interesting way to begin. Humbly. This innate requirement of neediness. It's interesting how quickly we change as we grow though, gaining the beliefs that we don't need anything or anyone, at least not really. But, just the same, I'm glad we start off needing. It builds healthy people who learn to help themselves as much as each other.
Welcome, Winter Song. June 17, 2010. I'm glad we share a birthday.
Even as I write this I know I've failed you. One blog post in a week, that's terrible odds. I'm batting a very low average. Think any Cubs baseball player.
But, alas, the show must go on, and it will. The way I see it is, even if you fall off the band wagon a little or even if there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day, somehow days still go on, the world keeps moving and regardless of you partaking, the show is relentless. It must move forward.
If you're allergic to pollen I doubt this is true.
Also, what's up with the double entendre of kneeling in the Garden...of Eden? Suddenly some how Madonna's "Like a Virigin" seems to be ringing very loudly. Can you imagine being a terrible gardener and hearing this phrase. I almost want to see the non-green-thumbed flower lover attempting to pot and grow plants, each day seeing that their botany is in vain.
What this really sounds like, though, is a little anecdote from another one of those weird hand-stitched pillows. Lame.
When I used to be a cynic I would have written something like "No," which I actually had done already when I first began writing this post about six months ago. However, let's look at the cards for a second:
Cinderella waited for Prince Charming: Success.
Snow White waited for her prince: Success.
Ariel waited for Prince Eric: Success.
Belle waited for the Beast: Success.
Princess Jasmine waited for Aladdin: Success.
Based on Disney characters and the mentality behind Walt Disney's view of relationships, I'd say good things do come to those who wait.
It's the things that aren't Prince Charming that are the problem though, like money for instance. Most people need more of it. Home buyers looking to purchase have to wait forever before sellers will come down to reality and lower their prices. But eventually, I suppose things do fall into place. It may just take a while. A long while.
So, I've been thinking about this one for a while. It's a flip-flopper. I feel like a fish. Or like John Kerry and John Edwards in 2004. Whatever works. Mainly I've flipped and flopped because I'd like to think of myself as a smart cookie, and when I find myself with the same joke as another person I admire and respect, this phrase comes to mind. That said...
What's going on in the phrase is the concept of smart people thinking smartly together, in unison, in sync. What's there to pick on in that though, is this idea that perhaps great minds don't think alike because they're on such differing plains. Like, Albert Einstein was clearly brilliant, but so is Alec Baldwin, that doesn't mean they think alike. Doesn't it by virtue of their own separate existences actually mean that great minds are great because they are unique?
They cease to be great if they were all thinking the same way.
And if you're saying it to be funny, which I have, you're merely making the joke that you were thinking in unison, not that you actually had marvelous thoughts.
It's come to my attention that this line is a load of hullabaloo. How so, you ask? I'll tell you, how so.
It can't be true, not really, otherwise we'd all still be pining for lovers lost or missing best friends who've moved far away. Perhaps abstinence is what "they" meant? I'd assume that's true. You want what you can't have, that's true for certain; but this notion of something being absent and because of its absence you want it, that's a little different. It implies that you once had it, and now it's lost, and you want it again more so than before. Chances are, if you let it slip away for long enough its just gotten lost in the shuffle, as many things do. You will have moved on.
C'est la vie.
It's the only way to continue living, isn't it? Keep pressing forward otherwise you're stuck in the past, and to turn another phrase: past is past.
Yes, this is the most fun, interesting and cultured ride at Walt Disney's Disney World in Orlando, Florida, but that's not why this phrase is true. And if there's anyone who can prove how true this is it's Mr. Kevin Bacon.
Six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon: An interview with Kevin Bacon:
MNBT: Kevin, over the years you've played a significant role in the formation of young American minds. How does it feel?
KB: Honestly, it feels forced. Everyone's always saying we're basically best friends because of this six degree separation biz, but fuck them, we ain't friends.
MNBT: Those are some pretty strong words from someone who hasn't been in the limelight since his wife hit it big with TNT's The Closer.
KB: I'm proud of Kira. I just wish people would pronounce her show's name correctly. It's closer, like closing something, not getting near something.
MNBT: Point taken. Tell me, Kevin, what have you been up to lately?
KB: What can I say, I play it fast and loose.
MNBT: Foot Loose. And while that's not an actual answer, there we have it folks. We're all best friends with Kevin Bacon.
KB: Hey, hey, as long as you've got me here, how about I whip out the ole gui-tar and slap some tunes with my broseph.
MNBT: Ah, the Bacon Brothers. Reason enough to wish we weren't all besties with the Bacons.
I'm pretty sure this music video was made with a Flip Video Camera.
1. Bowl of Honey Almond Flax flavored: Go Lean Crunch
2. Three peanut butter crackers
3. Chicken Cheesy Quesadilla
4. Keebler Elf Fudge Striped Cookies
Explanation of how this is ridiculously true:
1. Honey sweetness & lean: accurate description
2. (White) cracker: accurate description
3. Cheesey: accurate description of my appreciation for good dad jokes
4. Elf: accurate description
The more important thing to ask yourself is how could this possibly not be accurate? You see a girl pounding down a Double Down, and you've got to say, she's probably double a person. You see a dude munching on string beans, he's clearly a skinny mini string bean. Done and Done.
Is anyone else wondering if you eat solo foods on a plate, i.e. one pea, are you more of an anorexic or a loner?
Quickly doing things results in piss poor results ─ It's as if BP took this phrase and shot it in the face before attempting to crumble it up and stuff it into the now infamous exploding oil well located in the Gulf of Mexico; obviously this hard-pressed attempt at fixing dirty deeds will ultimately fail, as all other attempts have.
Part of why people are so quick to offer up a snapshot solution to any sort of problem, whether it's a crisis regarding too much or not enough oil, is this perpetual need to be the one who saves the day just in the nick of time. Perhaps it's linked to the worldwide obsession with superhuman strength.
So, take your time BP We don't need anymore waste.
In the 10th grade I took Advanced Algebra 2 with Mr. Timothy Burkhalter. At the time TB thought he was God's gift to high school level math. I'm not sure where he is now, nor do I care, for the tale I'm telling involves my deep distaste for both TB, Culvers and mathematics. There was a young, perhaps overly sassy Brigid Marshall roaming the mean halls of Lake Forest High School; she was never that into math as a subject, instead preferring hours reading and writing. She took AA2 because she had to graduate high school eventually. And, she was sassy, because it made time go by astronomically quicker.
One day in math Matt S. was getting railed by TB for using ink instead of a #2. Not many people noticed at first. The class was chatting about March Madness (because TB liked basketball), Culvers (because TB liked to eat, and shockingly enough, gave us extra credit for bringing back stolen elements from the fastfood chain), and the difficulties of being a high school student (because TB thought he could reach us). But, I was annoyed and sassy, so prompted by Matt S's use of pens, a simple question sprang from me like a baby from the loins:
"Why do we have to use pencils in math? I mean, we make mistakes in other classes and we're allowed pens."
And so ensued the verbal beating I received from my 10th grade math teacher. Somehow I ended up crying, refusing to leave his class to "clean up my face" because I "wanted everyone to see what [he] did to me." Then, ba ba ba! He said I had to leave the classroom or he'd call the dean. My retort: "The only reason I'm leaving is because I hate the dean, more than I hate you." Apparently he felt and later said, "I [could] dish it out, but I [couldn't] take it."
Summer is here, and boy, don't we all know it. Unfortunately many a landlord is neglecting to take down winter storm windows in favor of screens, so it's hot as balls out there and, more so, inside. But I don't care how you slice it, it's 2010 and cargo shorts aren't in style. Sure if they're your painter clothes or it's laundry day and they're the only thing left, then fine, I'll let you swing it, but the ladies will not be happy. Honestly, though, riddle me this: why so many pockets? If the pockets actually get used they tend to make skinny guys look skinnier (as the fabric droops ridiculously), while causing normal to chubby dudes to look chubbier. It's a no-win situation. Unfortunately these things aren't anything compared with zipoff cargo shorts, which double as pants. You're not going camping, seriously! ─ can't even finish this thought.
You can wear whatever you want, whatever makes you happy, sure, sure, but know that these Army-flavored duds aren't doing anything for you.
Claire's, a chain jewelry store marketed toward the tween crowd and the same girls who continue to shop at Forever XXI post 21st birthdays, receives shipments of costume jewelry on a regular basis, with countless pieces already damaged before reaching the retail floor.
Bicycles outside coffeeshops and schools are locked up with chains, U-Locks and those twisty ones that are easily sliced through.
Email correspondence with cries of "PASS THIS ALONG OR ELSE..." weave in and out of Google inboxes, but more likely in and out of Hotmail, Yahoo and MSN inboxes.
And the same thing stands in each of these cases: A Chain is Only as Strong as its Weakest Link.
